As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower in the field;the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
When I first arrived in Darfur I was met with such a potent environment that when asked how I felt or what it was like that i simply couldn’t answer. I had a thousand different thoughts and impressions moving around in my head, but no logic or reasoning to consolidate them into a legible or articulate narrative.
Today as I escaped Darfur for my first real R&R, I got a small glimpse of this world from the outside. As we taxied along the runway I began to understand the absurdity and complexity of this place that I had arrived in. The most important realization was that to capture this experience in a cute soundbyte for friends and family back home would be naive or even negligent. That is of course, unless they wanted the 5 word “yeah its an amazing place.” gag and move on with their daily lives. But I can’t, and I won’t. Instead I will share some lessons that I have learned from these first few formative months.
I have begun to learn the politics of powerful people and government organizations, and the differences between them and those they assume to represent. I’ve learned how to listen to fellow worker’s laments and not succomb to their cynicism or hopelessness. I’ve learned to accept the disturbing aspects of this work- children dying of starvation or fellow workers shot and killed. I’ve learned that what I am doing here may not be enough but that it is something. I’ve learned that life is fragile and cheap to some people, but that it does not change the value of a human life. I’ve learned that forgiveness is just as important as justice, but it’s never mentioned enough.
And finally I’ve learned that being in a place that so often lingers in these extremes of the human condition is actually making me feel more and more alive.



